Monday, January 19, 2009

5 weeks

This picture is from his 1 month professional portraits. We used it as one of our birth announcement pictures.

I can't believe tonight is 5 weeks since I gave birth to my son. I feel like he has been here forever. I don't know how I lived my life without him.

He is doing great. At his 1 month check-up this morning, he is 9 lbs., 13 oz (that's up 2 pounds from his 2 week check-up) and 21 1/2 inches (that's up 1 inch from his 2 week check-up). he is starting to smile REAL smiles (not the gassy ones, even though they still melt my heart). And, he is just starting to coo. Also melts my heart. And, he knows my voice and Frank's voice. When he hears us he looks for us, especially when someone else is holding him. He is still gassy, so we are doing a test (as per the pediatrician's suggestion). We are going to give him formula for 24 hours and if he has no gas, then we know it is my breastmilk. If that's the case, then I will give him 1 or 2 bottles a day of breastmilk, and the rest of the day formula; and whatever breastmilk I pump will be frozen. I'm OK with this because I HATE seeing Steven be in pain because of gas.
All is all, Steven is a very good little boy and I hope his disposition doesn't change. Even when he's screaming crying I think he's adorable. But then again, I am his mother.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

In Loving Memory

On Sunday, January 4, 2009 at about 10:58 p.m., my father passed away. On Friday, he took a turn for the worse. My mother, sister and myself were there with him when he took his last breath and his heart stopped beating. My father left this world in peace.

To say that I'm devatstated doesn't even begin to cover it. The following is a letter I wrote to him. I put a copy in the coffin with him and I also read it as my eulogy to him.

Dear Daddy:

There is so much I want to say, but don’t know where to start. You were the best father. You did so much for us and we have so many great memories of you. I only hope I can be half as good of a parent as you were.

You were always there for me in the middle of the night when I called out for you (for either a bad dream or an ache or pain). You were always there to help with homework. You always took us trick or treating. You helped us prepare our pom pom routine for Chicago. You even coached Pop Warner football when Allison and I started cheering. You taught me to drive – both hands on the wheel, you don’t need the radio, stop looking in the rear view mirror too much! You took us on so many vacations – family week really was a lot fun! These things don’t even skim the surface of all you have done.

Seeing the joy and excitement on your face at the Transplant Olympics makes the long drive out to Pittsburgh worth it.

You were my Hero Daddy. You struggled for so long and I never heard you complain. You just trudged through and continued to work through it. I am so sorry that your body couldn’t hold out. I know you are in a better place and will now be able to play golf every day and eat your frozen bread sandwiches whenever you want. I hope there is a purple chair for you to relax in at the end of your round of golf.

I am sad that Steven will never get to know you in-person, but we will make sure he knows all about you through our memories.

Thank you Daddy. Thank you for loving us the way you did.