Have I really become that bitter and jealous? I knew I was a jealous person, but I don't think I realized how much until today. I really get upset when someone announces they are pg. While I am happy for them that they are blessed, I can't help but feel sorry for myself. And, to make matters worse, I am always so sure that someone I know is pregnant and I get myself all in a tizzy worrying about it. My heart starts to race. When did I become like this?
I belong to a message board and almost every Friday there is another pregnancy announcement. Those break my heart a little bit more with each announcement. But when I see the ones that say that it was a surprise, I want nothing more than to throw my computer out the window. And then, to see these women complain about every little thing about being pregnant, I really want to go up to them and slap them upside the head and tell them to SHUT UP!! They have no idea what I wouldn't give to be able to complain about some of those things. Being able to carry a pregnancy to term and give birth is such a blessing.
And there is the "mom's club". People who feel that b/c I was never pregnant and gave birth that I would have no idea what they are experiencing, decide to leave me out of the conversation or not include me. Oh, and then there are the people that don't send me pictures of their children, don't invite me to their child's baptism, etc. b/c they are afraid it is going to hurt my feelings. Do they not realize that this hurts my feelings even more?
Like I said, when did I become such a bitter person?
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2 comments:
I have read some of your posts and I know this was last month, but I still wanted to comment. You say what's wrong with you that you feel badly when someone gets pg, but to me, that is such an okay feeling when you are going through what you are. I mean, you get nervous when you think someone might be pg- perhaps because you know what feeling lies ahead ..and you dred the feeling. My best advice, and I have never been in your situation so I really don't understand exactly how you feel, but maybe try and be okay with feeling jealousy- I mean, you are going through enough and deserve to feel what you feel. :) Good luck- (this is 2bemrsguiliano from nest)
I also feel the same way, and oftentimes asked myself why other can easily get pregnant while me, I have to undergo this and that to have at least one?
I have so many "Why's?"
Am reading your post from day 1, I am trying to get enough information before I go with the IVF.
Thanks, for posting.
Maricel
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