Feeling Better

I am in a much better place today. We still don't know what we are going to do going forward, but at least I don't feel so hopeless. We are considering going for a 3rd opinion, but haven't made that final decision. We don't know if we should go for donor egg. We don't know if we should start the adoption process and use our last 2 egg retrievals.

We are concerned about the costs of adoption and I have made no secret of that. Today, my mom told me something that sent me into another round of tears. She told me that Frank and I don't have to worry about the costs of adoption. Not only will my parents help us, but our cousins will help too. She said that back in December my cousins told my parents that they would lend us the money to help us adopt if needed. What makes this even more touching is that their only child passed away when he was 23 years old. Their gesture of lending us the money has touched me more than I can even describe. I hope that we won't need it, but just knowing it is there . . . , well, you get the idea.

I mentioned the word hopeless before. I never realized how powerful the word "hope" is. Hope is what keeps me going - I keep hoping that I will get pregnant and stay pregnant. I keep hoping I will have a baby. Until there is no hope, I will not stop trying.