Today's monitoring appt. did not bring good news. First, the follicles weren't even big enough to be measured. And then I got the phone call from the doctor with my b/w results - my estrogen level is dropping (not surprising since I was told to stop taking estrogen). But, she said I had a better response when I didn't take the estrogen before starting the stim. shots (the estrogen before stims was recommended to me by our 2nd opinion dr.). So, IVF #3 is cancelled. I was told to take my meds for 2 more days and MAYBE we will be able to convert it to an IUI, but if I still don't have a good response on Monday, everything is cancelled, I will wait for AF and try again, this time going right to stims.
To say I'm disappointed and upset is an understatement. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. All I want is a baby. Why is it so hard? Is someone trying to tell me something? Is this a case of those dreaded words "It's Not Meant To Be"?
I don't even know if I want to go for an IUI, it hasn't worked before. But, being the sadist that I am, I feel you just never know. Frank's been taking vitamins to help his sperm quality, so maybe there is that one sperm that will make it.
Needless to say, Frank and I have a lot to talk about - do we do donor egg or do we do adoption (we can't afford both). Do we start the adoption process and in the meantime use up our last 2 egg retrievals? I wish I had the right answer.
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2 comments:
Oh, sweetie, I've had all of the same feelings you're having. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if somebody was trying to tell me something. The best I can tell you is to listen to your heart, your gut, and your instincts. I'm here if you want to talk.....
I'm so sorry Michelle. It's so unfair. I can tell how upset and disappointed you are from your post and I wish there was something I could say to help you feel a little better. I'm sending you lots of good thoughts.
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