My Last Week

Well, we are down to my last week of pregnancy. In just 6 days I will be going in for a c-section (unless the Peanut has flipped, in which case, we will be induced).

I can't believe after everything we have been through, in less than one week, we are going to be known as Mommy and Daddy. It is truly overwhelming.

These past couple of weeks have been really hard. **WARNING - LOTS OF WHINING HERE*** I am so uncomfortable and swollen. My hands are killing me. I can't even make a fist. The only comfortable shoes on my feet are slippers and Uggs. My sugar levels have also been all over the place. The good news is that my insulin has been lessened. A good clue that maybe this is just gestational diabetes. I also have constant Braxton Hicks. They are too the point where I start timing them, only for them to taper off after a couple of hours. I get disappointed when that happens. As of last Monday, I was also closed and high up, which basically means, that I won't be going into Labor any earlier than next Saturday.

The other thing going on in my life is that my dad is back on the hospital. I am going to touch upon this briefly b/c I break down everytime I think about it. They don't know exactly what is wrong with him. It has been mentioned by a nurse and a resident that it is Interstitial Lung Disease, which when you look it up, means nothing good. Basically, there is no cure, and is progressive, but it is treatable. Of course, at this point, my dad isn't getting better. He also will not be at the hospital when I give birth, and we have no idea when he will meet his new grandson. To say that I am beside myself about this is an understatement. I have only been to the hospital once (my doctors told me to go more for peace of mind than anything else). I wore a surgical mask and didn't touch anything. I also purelled after touching the buttons for the elevator. I am not allowed back to the hospital b/c of all the diseases around there (my dad is in the Medical ICU ward). this is also hard. I also feel bad for my mom b/c she feels guilty when she isn't at the hospital, and she keeps promising me she will be there (and here) when the baby is born. Frank and I are still deciding if we should get a baby nurse to help us instead. but, we will wait to make that decision after we get home from the hospital (my mom will mostly help us out the 1st day or 2 and my sister will go to the hospital to see my dad).

I am also thinking back about everything we went through. I will NEVER forget the pain and heartache we went through. All the needles, appointments, ups and downs. With these memories also comes the realization that there are some girls in my support group who are still going through this. They are never far from my mind and I hope that they get their miracle one day soon.

Never in a million years did I ever think I would be able to get pregnant. I always hoped (which is why we went through infertility treatments), but to have it become a reality is something else. I feel so privileged that I was able to experience this miracle. The one thing I will miss the most is the feeling of my son growing inside of me. Even now, he is always moving. It is a bond that can never be replaced.

I don't know if I will post again before the baby arrives, so I want to thank everyone for going on my journey with me. I will post again after I get home, and will hopefully continue to post regarding my experiences as a mom.