Wednesday, February 13, 2008

1 year, 9 months

Well, I got the approval from my insurance company last night for my next round of IVF (it was mailed to me by my doctor). I really wasn't expecting a problem with this, but it is always nice to know. On the request sheet though it said that we had been TTC for for 1 year and 9 months.

I knew we had been TTC for a while, but I stopped counting a long time ago. I know that we have been with my fertility clinic for 1 year, but this was almost like a slap in the face.

It is 1 year and 9 months of heartbreak, 1 year and 9 months of disappointment, 1 year and 9 months of watching everyone else get pregnant and you wondering "what is wrong with us", 1 year and 9 months of hearing "relax", "you can adopt", "it will happen", and the long list of other things people try to say to make you feel better when it only hurts more. 1 year and 9 months of trying not to seem obsessed trying to get pregnant when it is your every other thought.

I still can't believe that it has been 1 year and 9 months and we have nothing to show for it, except about 30 extra pounds thanks to IF medications, lots of tears and heartache.

The one good thing - I know that I am a stronger person for all that I have endured. I have also met an amazing group of women who unfortunately know the same heartache that I have experienced. I will never be able to thank those women enough for listening to me for at least 1 year and 2 months.

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