A Love/Hate Relationship

I have come to the conclusion that pregnancy is like a love/hate relationship. There are things I love about being pregnant, and things I hate about it.

Things I love about pregnancy:

1. the fact that there is a human being growing inside of me. It boggles my mind. It is hard to grasp the miracle that pregnancy is. I feel so lucky that I get to experience this. A part of me feels bad for Frank b/c I get this experience and he gets to watch it.

2. my taste buds are enhanced. Good food tastes even better to me. So far fruit is the thing I crave the most. I live that it is cold and refreshing.

3. getting bigger. I am already showing and I love it. Maybe b/c I waited so long to get pregnant that I want the whole world to know. And maternity clothes are VERY comfortable.

4. bigger boobs. I was never "tiny" but I love the fullness of them. So does Frank, but that's for an x-rated blog. :-)

5. morning sickness. OK, so I don't LOVE it, but to me it says things are working.

6. the hopes and dreams for my child. I love thinking about names, who he/she will look like, if it is a he or she. It is all still amazing to me.

Things I hate about pregnancy:

1. Increased sense of smell. Even before pregnancy, I had a freakish sense of smell. Now it is worse.

2. constipation. Need I say more. Bran muffins and colace aren't working. Next on the list - prune juice (anyone have any other suggestions?)

3. waking up in the middle of the night. If one more person says to get my sleep now b/c I won't have it later, I'll deck them. I understand that the baby doesn't sleep, and I am trying to get my sleep now. But waking up the middle of the night to pee and then NOT being able to fall right back to sleep does not make me happy.

4. not being able to take anything for a cold. Colds are hard enough as it is, but to have to suffer through a cold just plain ole stinks!

5. the constant worry. I don't know if it b/c of my history (previous m/c) or if I'm just a worry-wart. The part I hate the most about pregnancy is that I'm always worrying something will happen to my baby. I'm afraid that everything I do or eat is harming my child. The fact that I'm spotting every couple of days (still brown) makes me more nervous. I know I was told that it is common and the reason for it, but it still doesn't make it any easier. I just want to know that my child is OK and healthy.

Being pregnant has taught me to slow down. I used to go, go, go all the time, and now I spend most of my time off my feet. I know a lot of this recently is b/c of the spotting. And, no exercise for me either - doctor's orders. I really wish I were given permission to at least go walking, but I know that staying off my feet as much as possible is good for the baby. I will do ANYTHING for this baby.

Please don't misconstrue my complaints as actual complaints. Like I said before, I am so lucky to be pregnant. After 2 years of trying and 2 years of disappointments, it really is a miracle. Infertility changed my live forever and I will never forget going through that.

NT Scan

I am 12 weeks, 2 days today. I also had my NT scan. This is one of the pictures from today. See Peanut waving to us? It was an experience I don't ever want to forget. We saw the baby kicking me, hiccup, waving to us, and just being a complete wiggle worm. We also heard the heartbeat for the first time. I wish I had a camera b/c Frank's face when we heard the heartbeat was priceless. I have never seen his face light up so much. It was so touching.

I was a little nervous b/c I had another scare last week (I've been slacking on updating my blog). Last Friday I had dark brown stuff on the toilet paper. It almost looked like tissue. We went back to the doctor ASAP that morning and had another u/s. Baby looked great. We were told that my placenta is growing and that it was covering the opening of my cervix. the doctor hoped that this would clear up on its own, hopefully by my 14th week, but this could go on until my 20th week. As long as everything stays brown, they aren't too concerned. I was told that this is pretty common. Thankfully, the spotting as stopped again (for now). I hope it stays this way.

So far the results we have gotten from the NT Scan are good - we were told the measurements are within the normal range, but we won't have answers until the blood test comes in. Also, I was told by my doctor that there is a 2nd part to the test, and that will be done at 16 weeks. So, I go back to the doctor in another couple of weeks for an u/s (they will do the 2nd part of the NT Scan, as well as measure the lining of my cervix) and then I will have another check-up.

Today was truly another miracle - I am still in awe. i can't stop kissing my pictures from today. I am already so in love with this baby!

A small scare

I had my first real scare this past weekend. thankfully, all ended well.

On Friday afternoon, I started having cramps. I wasn't too nervous about them b/c I have been having cramps off and on all along (I've been told they are normal). But, when I came home from work on Friday, there was a brown discharge. I called my dr. IMMEDIATELY. She told me that it was most likely nothing, but it could also be the start of a m/c. Not the words I wanted to hear, but it could be a reality. she also told me to stay off my feet and that if I started bleeding heavy, to call back and meet her at the ER. If not, come in on Monday for an emergency u/s. I cancelled my dinner plans for Friday night and my BBQ plans for Saturday. In the grand scheme of things, this is probably for the best b/c it was in the upper 90's since Saturday (with the heat index it was over 100). Way to hot for anyone, let alone a pregnant lady!

Poor Frank - he had to teach a class on Friday and couldn't be here with me. I understand and didn't even think of him cancelling (unless the bleeding got worse). My parents came to my rescue. I almost wasn't going to call my mom b/c I didn't want to worry her, but I'm glad I did. She immediately said that she was coming over to stay with me until Frank came home.

The rest of the weekend there was still some minor cramping (not as bad as on Friday), and the spotting was slowing down. I spent the rest of the weekend in bed or on the couch. I didn't even get up to water my plants (Frank did that for me).

I went to the doctor yesterday for my u/s. To say I was nervous is an understatement. Thankfully, all was good. The hb was at 174, and Peanut measured at exactly 11 weeks. The new picture of Peanut was AMAZING - you can see the tiny little nubs of arms/hands and legs/feet. So cute if I must say so. :-)

My blood pressure was elevated, but after a few minutes, it went back to normal (I chalk it up to nerves). The scale was also 4 pounds less than it was 2 weeks ago (I'm happy with that). My doctor didn't seem concerned about the blood pressure, or the weight loss. She told me that I can't do any form of exercise for another couple of weeks, and I can come off the prometrium until my next appointment, which is next week.

Whew - what a weekend!!